I remember the first time I had feelings for Jesus. It wasn’t very long ago. I had gone to a conference on the coast with some Reed students, and a man spoke who was a professor at a local bible college. He spoke mostly about how we should read the Bible. He was convincing. He seemed to have an emotional relationship with the Book.
When we got back from the conference, I felt like my bible was calling me. By the time I got to the end of Luke, to the part where they were going to kill Jesus again, where they were going to stretch Him out on a cross, something shifted within me.
I remember it was cold outside, crisp, and the leaves in the tress of the park across the street were getting tired and dry. And I remember sitting at my desk, and I don’t know what it was that I read or what Jesus was doing in the book, but i felt a love for Him rush through me, through my back and into my chest.
I started crying. I remember thinking that I would follow Jesus anywhere, that it didn’t matter what He asked me to do. I loved Him, and I was going to follow Him.
I think the most important thing that happens within Christian spirituality is when a person falls in love with Jesus. I know our culture often views a love for Jesus as weakness. There is the lie floating around that says, "I am supposed to be able to do life alone, without any help, without stopping to worship something bigger than myself."
But there is something bigger than me. And I need for there to be something bigger than me.
I need someone to put awe inside me; I need to come second to someone who has everything figured out. If you haven’t done it in a while, pray and talk to Jesus. Ask Him to become real to you. Ask Him to forgive you of self-addiction. Ask Him to put a song in your heart.
I dare you to venture into the unknown to discover God and His unfailing love
Chantal Williams recently graduated from Andrews University as a doctor of physical therapy, and has been involved with Enspire Productions since 2011.