Plans to Prosper and Not to Harm


My Personal Testimony Part 3

There came a time when I wanted to talk about it. I wanted to scream about it. But all I could do was whisper, “I’m fine.”

I was abused by my biological father. This challenge broke me, it destroyed me, and it’s not even the bruises on the body that hurt, it’s the wounds of the heart and the scars on the mind.

The biggest challenge that came from being abused was that I lost the ability to trust at all. I couldn’t trust my father because he was hurting me and I couldn’t trust my mother because she did nothing to save me. So, as I entered my freshman year of high school, I was lost, lonely, and broken. 

Nobody knew the real me. Nobody knew how many times I would sit in my room and cry. Nobody knew how many times I would burn myself just to feel something. There were so many times I completely lost hope, and so many times I had been let down.

Nobody knew the cause of my sadness, or the abuse I went through. Nobody knew how many times I had to hold back tears. Nobody knew the thoughts that went through my head whenever I was sad, and how horrible they really were.

And, honestly, I would always build walls, but not just to keep others out.

There were times I built those walls out of the necessity to protect whatever was left within me.

The abuse changed me. But, in a way, it gave me the ability to recognize the ones who were left out, who seemed a little off, or the ones who always wore long sleeves. This challenge made me who I am today and I am so proud of everything I have survived.

Through it all, I noticed that I don’t want anyone to go through the things I have gone through, and I will do anything in my power to make sure other survivors don’t feel alone. I want others to understand that somehow, through it all, God was there. I know God took care of me. I never wanted to believe or even begin to face my fears, but I needed God to help me fight my fears so I could move forward into what he has planned for me in the future.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11


The author of this blog wishes to remain anonymous.