The Constant Phenomenon

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The idea of having a loyal friend, stable educational experience, and a forever home has always left me wondering, searching, and inevitably lost. How could someone stay so devoted to another person? How can you stay in one place, the same environment, to the point where you’ve seen each other grow into different people? 

 

What are the benefits of developing an emotional attachment to a house you will eventually leave?

 

The idea behind those questions have since then carried over into my spiritual life. How can someone love so unconditionally and continue to be a companion despite our flaws and mistakes?

 

Joshua 1:9 says, “The Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” As a child, I would memorize this verse and recite it religiously whenever I would travel or feel alone in social situations. When I had nightmares, I would see this verse on a piece of paper posted on my wall. It was a reassuring verse, but not sufficient for my curious and wandering self. When I reached my teenage years, this verse and its purpose became only a faint memory. When I felt alone, I turned to reading books that only pushed out the feeling of loneliness but didn’t solve it. When I couldn’t sleep at night, my nightmares would become a reality. I lived in limbo, searching but never finding.

 

I spent my sophomore year at a public school in Mansfield, Texas. After three and a half years at Burton, I needed a change of scenery. I felt suffocated and constrained. It was the feeling that authors describe in books as “a bird in a cage,” looking into the outside world from a restrained view. I longed for a place I could grow in academically and spiritually, without worrying about having to care for others. I prayed to God and made the decision to switch schools. The year that I spent in public school was one of the most enlightening experiences in my short life. I met people who have striven for the same success I wanted. I joined a group of people who were genuinely good and made me feel at home. I was in my comfort zone. However, God has His own plan. A plan I fought hard against. He took me outside of my newfound safety and placed me back in the same environment I dreaded ever returning to. Coming back to Burton reinforced in my mind that there would never be a constant in my life. I saw my return as God saying, “You will never have stability.”

 

But, that is not how God works. And that is not who He is.

 

The lack of consistency in my life was not a product of God’s hands, but a part of His purpose for me. Looking back, I saw how quickly I was able to adapt throughout all the changes in my life. By taking away the constants, God gave me the opportunity to relate to different kinds of people. The constant phenomenon was no longer a mystery but an awakening. God was working to build me into a person who understood the misunderstood and someone who would be able to explain the benefits of change to others. And through it all, there is always the constant presence of God.


Micah Mari Aquitania is currently a junior at Burton Adventist Academy and enjoys spending time with her cats.


 

Photo by Ben Blennerhassett on Unsplash